MIL jokes

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Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and your MIL?
A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, your MIL doesn't know the difference.

Q: What are the two worst things about your MIL?
A: Her faces

Q: What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture?
A: The vulture waits till you are dead before it eats your heart out.

Q: How are shotguns and mothers-in-law alike?
A: If there is one around, you just want to shoot it!
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A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

The wife said, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," said the hunter husband, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it

[cherrysmum]

hahahahahha....once again you're on top of the jokes hahahahhahaha

[Cherry_pez]

naturally I enjoy those everytime [img]smile.gif[/img]

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There aren't too many TV shows that dare to tackle the topic of The Mother-In-Law. So, here are a few suggestions for new story lines for some of the current hit TV shows.

1. Oprah: Dr. Phil discusses the phenomenon of "Reverse Claustrophobia" (the uncontrollable desire to lock yourself in a room or closet when your MIL visits.)

2. House of Fashion: Today's topic - This Old Bag

3. Daughters-in-law and Order - Special Victims Unit: Investigators probe horrid offenses committed by MILs that have left the victims devastated, and destroyed lives.

4. Survivor: Stay at home and vote to keep the MILs on the island forever.

5. Home Shopping Club: DIL SURVIVAL KIT - Items for sale include a new lock and key for your front door, duct tape, caller ID boxes, and ear plugs.

6. MIL Family Feud: Most of us have been playing this game since we got engaged. Whenever you say something, your MIL tries to top it.

7. WWF: See the champ in the ring with your MIL. Can she go the distance? Dirty looks and snide comments won't knock out these tough opponents.

8. MIL Hunter : Go Down Under and watch as one man gets close to nature and risks getting his head bitten off by one of mankind's oldest and fiercest enemies.

9. Olympic Track and Field: Watch as ordinary men and women set new world records for speed while running away from their MILs.

10. Martha Stewart Holiday Special: Learn to set a beautiful holiday table, without a place for your MIL. It's a good thing.

11. Family Law: In this episode, a woman fights to divorce her MIL while remaining married to her dear husband.

12. Judging MIL: Why not? She judges you.

13. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: The MIL who asks the most irritating question in the shortest time wins big bucks.

14. Frasier: Will Daphne marry Niles this season? If she does, at least she won't have to contend with a MIL.

15. Unsolved Mysteries - Missing MILs: MILs are disappearing all over the city. Does it surprise you that no one is looking for them?